IS CRYING FOR DEAD CAUSES PUNISHMENT TO THE DEAD???

You would have heard this 100′s of times and people are fed up with this idea that holy prophet (s.a.w)  had said this and so if someone cries for dead, the dead is punished; and this propaganda increases in moharram

so let us see what ayesha had to offer in this regard

we find in musnad ahmad

Abu bakar says that when rafi’I bin khadeej died, we heard ibn umar that dead is punished when his neighbors cry for him. I came to umra and told him so he replied that Ayesha said that holy prophet asws said this about a jew lady that these people are crying and she is being punished; then Ayesha recited the verse that none will bear the weight of others

[Musnad ahmad, urdu, vol 11, page 31, narration 24616]

Sheikh hamza says isnaad sahih
[Musnad ahmad, takhreej of ahmad shakir and hamza ahmad, vol 17, page -234]

We further find

Ibn umar said that holy prophet asws said that dead is punished when his family cries for him; when someone asked this from Ayesha, she said that he has hallucinated, holy prophet asws said that people are crying where as he is being punished for his sins

[Musnad ahmad, urdu, vol 11, page 84]

Sheikh hamza says isnaad sahih

[Musnad ahmad, takhreej of ahmad shakir and hamza ahmad, vol 17, page 287]

Sheikh shoaib says isnaad sahih on condition of sheikhain [musnad ahmad, vol 40, page 347-348, narration 24302 ]

Yet again, we find

Urwa said that once Ayesha told him that o nephew! Ibn umar erred in listening, actually holy prophet asws passed by a grave and he said that he is being punished due to his deeds and his family is crying for him; otherwise by god! None will bear the weight of others 

[Musnad ahmad, urdu, vol 11, page 178-179, narration 25144]

Sheikh hamza says isnaad sahih
[Musnad ahmad, takhreej of ahmad shakir and hamza ahmad, vol 17, page 390]

Sheikh shoaib says isnaad are sahih, narrators are all thiqa and narrators of sheikhain
[musnad ahmad, takhreej of sheikh shoaib; vol 41, page 181-182 narration 24637]

Again we find

Abu bakar said that when rafi’I bin khadeej died, I heard Abdullah bin umar that dead is punished due to weeping of his neighbors. I came to umra and told him about this; he said that Ayesha said that may allah forgive abu abdurrehman, he is not lying but he has forgotten; holy prophet asws passed by grave of a jew lady on which people were crying, so he said that people are crying where as she is being punished

{molvi zafar iqbal says that narration is sahih as per bukhari, muslim and ibn haban}

[musnad ahmad, urdu, vol 11, page 210]